- Hello. - Wanna have a little fun?
- Who's this? - Tell me your name and I'll tell you mine.
I don't think so.
- What's that noise? - Oops. I farted.
- I didn't think you would hear me. - No, that popping noise.
Oh. I'm making popcorn. I'm getting ready to watch a video.
- Ooh. What is it? - It's just a scary movie.
- Do you like scary movies? - Mm-hmm.
- What's your favorite? - Mm, I don't know.
Think.
Oh, I know. Um, Kazaam, the one where Shaq plays a genie.
- That's not a horror movie. - Well, you haven't seen Shaq act.
- Hey, you have a nice voice. - Thanks.
You never did tell me your name.
Why do you wanna know my name?
'Cause I wanna know who I'm looking at.
What... What did you say?
Nice breasts.
Look, what do you want?
I wanna see what your insides look like.
Well... Well, then, turn to page 54.
Oh.
Hey, nice.
Listen, asshole, you've had your fun, now you better stop or else.
- Or else what? - Or else my boyfriend's gonna be here any minute,
and he's black and he'll kick your ass.
- Oh, really? - Yeah.
You mean the one who wears makeup and dresses like a woman?
- How did you know? - Turn the porch lights on.
Help! Help!
Oh, that's not my boyfriend. I mean, I've fucked him a couple of times, but that's it.
Look, I'm calling the cops.
Go ahead. Call the cops.
But you might wanna check the backdoor first.
You forgot to lock it.
Take that, you psycho!
I can't feel my legs.
I think my arm is broken.
- Sorry. - I want my mommy.
Hello, Drew.
Oh, God!
- Daddy! Daddy! - Ugh!
Daddy!
Daddy, no! No!
- Did you hear something? - No, I didn't hear anything.
Bobby, what are you doing? My dad's in the other room.
It just occurred to me. I never climbed through your window before.
Now that you got it out of your system, Bobby, you have to leave.
Why?
Shh. Come on.
What's going on in there?
Ow! Daddy's head is stuck. Unstick Daddy's head.
- Dad, can you knock?
- Knock? I thought I heard screaming in here. - No. No, you didn't, Dad.
Well, it could've been that crack I smoked earlier, I guess.
- Yeah. - Yeah, that's what it was.
I gotta leave town for a couple of days.
No big deal. Just that new business I started with those Colombian guys?
- Oh, you mean Uncle Escobar. - Yeah. Yeah, that's right.
Well, there's a problem. Some money went missing.
And apparently, some legs are gonna get broken.
It's just better if I lay low for a couple of days.
- If the cops raid the place... - I never heard of you.
- And don't forget... - To flush your stash.
Oh, you are my little girl. I love you so much...
that I left you a little something in the coffee can.
- Dad... - But you have to remember to step on it before you sell it.
- Now, what are you gonna cut it with? - Um, baking...
Baking soda. Not baking powder.
Because baking powder guys will have muffins growing out of their nose.
You love that joke, don't you, honey?
You've loved that joke since you were two years old.
- Okay, well... - Okay, I love you.
- I love you. - Have a good trip.
- Bye. - Bye. Whew!
Is the coast clear?
Oh, Cindy, that nightgown.
That was close. God!
I was, uh, home watching The Exorcist, and it got me thinking about you.
If this is about the time I puked green slime and masturbated with a crucifix...
It was my first keg party, Bobby.
No. No. Uh, it was edited for TV. All the good stuff was cut out.
So you thought you would just climb through my window...
and we would play bump-bump?
I was kind of hoping to get my balls licked,
but I wouldn't wanna break your little underwear rule, now, would I?
So maybe just some on-top-of-the-clothes type stuff?
Okay. But just for a minute.
What the...
Wrong set.
Bobby! Oh, Bobby!
I don't wanna wait for our lives to be over
- No, Bobby, don't. - Ow!
Jeez.
Yeah, my dad.
Okay, stud, you have to go now.
Oh, um, about the sex stuff?
I was only half-serious. I don't wanna rush you or anything.
Hey, would you settle for PG-13?
What's that?
Oh, jeez!
Good night, Bobby.
Shorty, you are so loud.
And make sure you take your behind to class today.
- I do be going to class. - Lunch is not a class, Shorty.
It is when you got the munchies.
- See, that's why you such a dumb-ass. - Your mother.
You my brother. That's your mother too, jackass.
Oh, yeah. Well, then, your father's stupid.
So? I don't know him.
Yeah, me neither.
- Hey, girl, you ready? - Yeah, in a minute.
- We're gonna be late. - Wait. There's Buffy.
I don't know why you hang out with her.
- She is such a ho. - Why do you say that?
'Cause I've seen her.
- My friend Sean had a pool party this summer. - Sean?
You know, Puff Daddy?
Anyway, everybody was drinking Cristal champagne.
And then it started to get wild, and people were getting freaky in the pool and stuff.
I look over and there was your girl getting buck wild in the Jacuzzi.
So?
With a backup dancer.
I mean, that's nasty.
That's-That's lower than the security guard.
At least security can get you backstage. She doesn't love herself.
Bye, Daddy. - I don't know. I think Buffy's sweet, Brenda.
She is as fake as Press-on nails.
Hey, baby girl!
What is up, my sister?
- Bye, Mr. Gilmore. - Bye!
- Is he gone? - Yep.
Do you like what you see
It's all about the money
Hey, Cindy!
- I love this color. - Let me see that.
- Oh, you guys should not use this brand. - Why not?
- Because they test their products on animals. - So?
Look, have you seen what they do to those poor animals?
Well, I am much more of a people person.
I'd like to feed all the hungry, little children of the world.
I'd much rather help my fellowman than some animal.
- Spare a dollar? - Get away from me, you bum!
Buffy! Can't you see he's just hungry?
Here you go, sir. A nice sandwich.
- See? - I said a dollar, bitch!
Ow!
God. Look at this place.
It's a circus.
Hello. I'm Gail Hailstorm, author of the book, You're Dead, I'm Rich.
A small college town is in shock...
after the unthinkable has happened:
A brutal killing spree that left one teen dead...
That's it. Two teens dead...
and this small town shaken and stirred.
- It's times like these... - Police are combing the area for clues.
There are no witnesses available at this time.
There are no suspects in custody.
Police are asking anyone to come forward.
Reporting live for Black TV. White folks are dead and we're getting the fuck out of here!
Grab your shit and let's go, motherfucker!
Hey, do you think the press is gonna wanna talk to us?
Oh, girl, no. The press only wants to interview the most ignorant person they can find.
I'm on TV! Oh, shit! First Cops, now this!
Oh, man, I'm gonna be a star, son!
- What can you tell us about Drew? - Well, she had the fat ass.
- I mean, it was like bang! - How close were you to the victim?
Real close. Until the roofies wore off.
Then she woke up talking about pressing charges.
So I just pulled my tongue out of her ass and left.
What would have been your last words to Drew?
Run, bitch! Run!
Hey, yo, dawg. Does this shirt make me look gay?
No, man.
What about now?
- Nah. Yeah. - Cool?
Here. Take one, guys. Don't forget: Election's Tuesday.
"Don't forget: Election's Tuesday."
Ah! Goddamn it! Son of a bitch!
What's the matter, honey?
My report card.
Well, at least you got one "A."
Yeah. I did, huh?
You're so smart.
- Hey, has anybody seen Bobby? - Nah.
You know what? That kid is always late.
I don't get it. He lives so close.
See you later, Hairy Mama, Bubba, Jim,
Big Jim, Little Jim, Slim Jim, everybody.
I'll see you later. Ciao, Ding. All right.
Damn, girl. Mm-mm-mm.
- I'd sure like to get in them pants. - Really?
Yeah. What size are these?
Hey, guys.
- Hey, Bobby. - Hey, baby.
- How you doing? - Good.
- You guys see all the reporters out there? - Yeah.
Saying that girl Drew Decker got killed last night.
- You know what? I think I knew her. - Really?
- She had a brother named Steve? - Yeah.
Long hair, pretty little mouth, perfect ass?
- That was her. - Nah, I was talking about Steve.
Whatever happened to him?
Do you guys think it's strange that she got killed...
exactly one year after we,
you know, killed that guy?
Hey, Cindy, that was an accident.
Was it, Greg?
Yeah!
Would you look at what they're doing?
When are we gonna do stuff like that, huh?
One day.
- You like that, baby? - Yeah, that's different.
- You like that? - Oh, I love that.
Oh, I love when you play with my ass.
I'm not playing with your ass.
- Ray! - Oh, my bad.
Come on, man! Hey, Bobby, put on some music.
Hold on.
Here. Putt his on.
It's raining men Yeah, that's the shit right here!
Hallelujah - It's raining men
Baby. - Amen
I'm gonna go out I'm gonna let myself get What? It's a classic.
Absolutely soakin' wet - Put on the radio, man.
Yeah! Whoo!
- What? It was laundry day. - What the fuck is...
Yeah!
Whoo! Yeah!
- Hey. Come over here. - What?
- Just get a little closer to me. - Something you're gonna tell me?
- Bobby, what are you doing?
I just want you to touch it. Just touch it. Come on.
- Uh... - Just a little bit. Come on.
Whoo!
- Ow! - Oh, yeah, that's what I'm talkin' about.
Oh, my God! Shit!
God, Cindy... Oh, shit!
- Oh, my God. - What was that?
I think we hit something.
Oh, man!
Bobby, look at my car, man! My dad's gonna freak!
I didn't see it. It came out of nowhere.
- Oh, my God, we hit a boot. - Where's the foot?
I don't know.
Where the...
It's a body!
- Oh, shit, is he alive? - I don't know.
- Well, check it out. - I can't.
- Shit! - We have to call the police.
- No way. I ain't going to jail. - We have to!
Cindy, do you know what they do to young boys in prison?
And all those sex-starved convicts just waiting for a fresh piece of meat.
Hey, you're right, Cindy. Maybe we should call the police.
Oh, yeah, That's a great idea, Ray. But what about Brenda, huh?
You think she wants to go to jail?
This is manslaughter, okay? We're all gonna fry for this.
- We're looking at 10 to 15 years. - Shut up, Bobby!
- It's okay. I'm fine. - Alcohol all over. - We're in so much trouble.
- I'm fine. - Don't blame that shit on me, Ray.
- Look, we'll get rid of the body. - Unnecessary.
- Now you're thinking. - We'll dump him in the ocean. - Not the ocean, the pier.
- Guess I'll be leaving now. - That's a great idea.
- What about the alcohol? - We'll get rid of it.
Come on. It'll be all right.
- Come on. Hurry up. Let's go. - Put him in the trunk.
- I won't have anything to do with this! - Shut up!
Cindy, come on. We'll just pretend it never happened.
You know, like the time we got drunk and we went down on each other.
- I'll get his arm. - I'll grab I'll grab his other arm. His ass.
We'll take him down to Williamson Cove and we'll dump him in there.
The sharks'll take care of the evidence.
Oh, my God, someone's coming.
- Oh, shit. It's Shorty. - Brenda, take care of him.
Shorty, I know you ain't driving without no papers.
I got papers, blunts, bongs,
all the ingredients to make a high nigga pie.
- Hey, yo, can I help you? - Yo, what's up, Ray?
- Yo, son, you all need jumper cables? - Nah, we're cool.
Oh, good, 'cause I left my roach clip at home.
- Go home, Shorty. - Yeah, I-I'll see you later.
Peace, Ray.
- Get the trunk closed. - It won't close.
I'll do it.
Hold on. Hold on. Put him down. He's heavy. Oh, God.
Okay, look. On three we dump him over the ledge.
Wait, wait, wait. Shouldn't we at least check his wallet?
- For what? - Shit, he might have some money.
We already committed murder. We might as well rob his ass.
- I'll take the credit cards. - I want his jewelry. - I'm gonna take his drawers.
- Get off! Hey, yo, get off! His drawers are mine! Yo!
- I got me a gold ring. - Credit cards.
- All right, let's get him in the water. - I don't think I can, Greg.
- It's not too late. - Shut up, okay?
- Christ, already. I'll do it. - Just get him in the water.
Okay. One, two,
three.
Right now we make a pact. We take this to our grave.
- Agreed? - Agreed. - Agreed.
- Agreed? - Agreed.
Say it, Cindy. Say it!
We take this to our grave. Say it!
We take this to our grave. Say it.
Greg, chill. Come on. You're hurting her.
We take this to our grave. Ow.
And we never mention this again.
Mention what?
- The guy we just killed. - Well, you just mentioned it, Greg.
Starting now!
Stupid bitch, man.
- God. I hate him. - It's gonna be okay, baby. It's gonna be okay.
I promise. Just touch it again. Come on. Please.
- You have to move on, Cindy. That's all behind us now. - Exactly.
- It's a coincidence. - Greg's right, Cindy.
I mean, what do you think we're in, a horror movie?
Yeah, you guys are right. If we were,
they'd probably cast some ding bat like Jennifer Love Huge Tits to play me.
Yeah, or they'd cast people in their late twenties, early thirties to play us.
- Kenny, get the camera ready. Here. Hold my gum.
- Sheriff, Sheriff, can I get a statement? - No comment.
Damn. Who do I have to screw around here to get a stupid story?
Hey! Hey, no running.
Loser.
- Slow it down! - Blow me!
All right!
Hi. Gail Hailstorm. Field Reporter, Hard Story.
Special Officer Doofy.
Oh, hi, Doofy. Doofy, listen. Is there a problem on campus?
- No comment. No comment. - Okay. Okay.
You know, you look awfully young to be a police officer.
- I'm 25 and a half years old. - Ooh!
- Yeah, that's this many. - Ah, so big.
Yeah. That's big.
Well, you don't look a day over 12.
Except for the big head and glazed-over look in your eyes.
- Ooh, was that drool? - Yeah. I for got to swallow.
Don't worry, 'cause I never forget.
- Would you remind me not to do that again? - Sorry.
Due to the recent tragedy, the sheriff and me, your principal,
will be questioning all students throughout the day.
Wow. Sounds like we've got the makings of a serial killer on our hands.
Yeah, I'm not supposed to say. It's official police business.
Hey, Doofy, what do you say you and I go inside my van over there...
and, uh, get to know each other a little better?
- Would you like that? Yeah, that van right there. - That van?
Yeah.
- Yeah, okay, let's go. Come on. - Oh!
A terrible tragedy and an unbearable loss.
It's days like today that we need prayer in school.
It starts to unravel the very moral fabric of our society.
Here you go, baby.
Go to your daddy.
Oh!
I'll see you after class.
- Sweet! - All right!
Okay, class, who would like to give their oral presentation first?
- Oh! - Anybody?
- Yes! - Anybody else?
Okay, Heather.
- Okay. Can I start? - Yeah.
Okay, my presentation is on the First Amendment.
And it began on May 25, 1787 in Philly with George Washington.
And it states, and I quote,
"When our Founding Fathers argued the passage of our glorious Constitution..."
The First Amendment gives us the right to say what we want...
Oh, shut the fuck up!
So, who's next?
Uh, Cindy Campbell.
Isn't she the daughter of, well, you know...
- Oh, yeah, you know, old Mrs., uh... - Old Mrs...
Yeah. Yeah, the one and only...
The one and only.
- Why, hello, Cindy. - Hi, Principal Squiggman.
- Thanks, Doofy. - It's Special Officer Doofy today, Cind.
Now, Cindy, Sheriff has some questions that he would like to ask you today.
- What is that... god-awful smell? - I don't know.
I got a poopie.
Did you just say that you went poopie?
- Yeah. It was good. - Mm.
- Get him out of here. - Yes.
- Thank you, Doofy. - Okay.
You should now go back to Special Ed.
- Okay. Salute. - Maybe a change of underwear, son.
- Bye, Doofy. - Bye, Cind.
- How are you, Cindy? - Fine.
- How are you, Sheriff? - Bloated, constipated.
Got a boil on my ass the size of a walnut. You know, the usual.
Cindy, I want to ask you some questions about Drew Decker.
- I didn't really know her. - Oh, come on. Sure you do.
No. I mean, I didn't really know her.
I've been in this game a longtime. Don't bullshit a bullshitter.
Tell me about Drew. What was she like in bed, Cindy?
Tried to get you. It's an old police trick.
You didn't fall for it. Good for you, kid.
Hike!
Pass! Pass!
All right, shower up!
Yes!
Yo, Dugan, man, nice play, yo. Word up.
Johnson, what a block, baby.
Word up. Woodward. Nice ass.
Damn.
Yo, Greg, what's up? You gonna hit the showers or what?
No, man. I think I'm gonna workout, beat the bag a little.
Suit yourself, kid. All right. Last one in the shower's a rotten egg!
Come on, y'all! I'm gonna get y'all!
Don't let Uncle Ray catch you!
Who did this? Huh? Where are you?
This isn't funny, all right?
A small dick's like a disability, man!
Would you make fun of a guy in a wheelchair? Huh? Would you?
Come on out here, you sick fuck!
I'll kick the shit out of you right now! All right?
It's not the size of the hammer,
it's the nail you're throwing it at!
It's a shame how she died.
- She was such a nice girl. - Yeah, she used to baby-sit my brother Doofy.
- He had the biggest crush on her. - Ray, you're a dead man.
Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey.
You wanna get butt-naked and wrestle?
- Bring it on, Ray! - Hold my earrings. Where's my Vaseline?
- Take it easy. What's the problem? - I'll show you the problem.
Oh... That's you?
They-They turned the hot water off in the showers, all right?
Laugh it up, you guys. Big laugh.
You know what? You can all go to hell!
Greg, you're not the only one who got one.
Oh, you mean Bobby's got a baby dick too?
No. I was talking about the note.
I got one too.
- Somebody knows. - That's bullshit, Cindy.
Someone's just trying to fuck with us.
We have to call the police, Greg.
You call the police, and I'll kill you myself.
- You're hurting her, man. - And you know what?
That goes for all of you guys.
That psycho wants a piece of me, bring it on.
But I'm not going to jail. You got that?
What's everybody talkin' about?
Just forget it, Shorty. You already know too much.
Aren't they beautiful?
- Buffy! - Contestant number one!
Very good. And contestant number two.
Very good. And contestant number three.
Buffy! That's my girl!
- That's my girlfriend! - Yeah, that's my girlfriend too!
- Hey, kiss my ass! - Yeah, I'm hitting that too!
- All right, Buffy! - Hey, shut the hell up, man!
- The best pussy I ever had! - What, you want a piece of me?
Now the talent portion of the competition.
Oh, you guys, I'm gonna go downstairs for a closer seat. See you after the show.
Number three, Buffy Gilmore.
Hey, you know what? I'm gonna go hit the head. You want me to bring you back anything?
No, no, no. I'm good, man. But hurry back. She's gonna perform.
- Don't worry. I'll be back. - Good evening, Buffy.
And what will be your talent for this evening?
Acting. I'll be doing a dramatic reading.
Yeah, yeah!
Buffy Gilmore doing a dramatic reading.
Hey, do that thing from Baywatch! She's running down the beach!
Lookout, Greg! Look behind you!
- It's him! It's the killer! - Huh?
Oh, my God! Somebody do something!
He's killing him!
- He's killing him! - Must be an original piece.
He's killing him!
She's good. She's good.
- What's wrong with you people? - That's fantastic.
You fucking bastards! Why won't anyone help?
- Amazing. - She's the next Pamela Lee.
Oh, God! Oh, God! Don't!
Greg, hold on!
Give it up for Buffy Gilmore! Beautiful.
Absolutely fantastic.
I think we have a winner, ladies and gentlemen. Miss Buffy Gilmore!
Buffy, wait. You have to go back on stage.
- No. I have to get to Greg. - But you won!
- They're calling your name. - There's a killer...
- I won? - They're calling your name. Go.
- Buffy, what happened? What about Greg? - Oh, fuck Greg. I won.
- Congratulations! - Oh, out of my way, loser!
Miss Buffy Gilmore!
Here she comes
Miss Teen She's So Fine
Such lovely tits - Give me my crown, bitch.
And a great behind
There she is Doggy style anytime
And I'll do her behind behind and behind
Oh, there she is
She loves 69
There's no sign of him anywhere.
- He could've taken the body. - That's impossible, Cindy.
- There's no blood. There's nothing. Look around. - I bet it's just Greg playing...
another one of his dumb jokes.
He's gonna turn up. I'm sure of it. He's probably at my house waiting for us right now,
- you guys. - All right, fine.
But you know what? I'm gonna look around some more, so...
- You mind catching a ride home with Buffy? - Yeah, no problem.
- All right, fine. - Call me later.
- Hello. - Hello, Cindy.
- Who is this? - It's me, Bobby.
You know, your boyfriend.
Yeah, I'm sorry. I guess I'm a little jumpy lately.
- Hey, any sign of Greg? - No.
- Do you want me to come by? - No.
I'm just gonna take a bath, and then I'm gonna go to bed.
Okay. I'd really like to see you, but... I love you.
Aw. I love you too, baby.
Bobby, I told you...
I still know what you did last Halloween.
Who is this?
Ow! Ow!
- Hello. - I'm gonna kill you.
- I'm gonna slice you up. - Who is this?
- I'm gonna chop you like liver. - What do you want?
I'm in the house.
Do you know where I am?
I could be anywhere. I'm like the wind, baby.
Yeah. Where am I?
Um, you're-you're behind the couch.
What? How do you know that?
I can, um, see your feet.
Ah! Okay, turn around.
Close your eyes. No peeking.
Yeah. No. No. No.
Hey, no peeking. No peeking. Turn around.
Good.
Okay, now you look.
Now do you know where I am? You don't.
No, Mr. Killer. I don't know where you are.
I'll give you a big clue.
Oh! I gotta stop drinking.
- Grandma! - Ow, baby!
Oh, my hip!
White woman in trouble off the 744...
Are you okay? I heard screaming. What's going on?
- Bobby, he was here. - Shh.
- The killer was here, Bobby. - It's okay.
- I can explain that. - Oh, my God.
A friend gave 'em to me. Cindy. Cindy.
Cindy. Cindy!
Cindy! Cindy! Cindy!
It's me, Cind.
Cindy, you know me. Cindy.
I know you've had a rough night, Cindy, so I won't keep you.
I just want you to look at some photos. Tell me what you think.
Mm-mmm.
- No? - No.
- I'm sorry, Sheriff. - You sure?
Okay, you're free to go. Do you have somebody picking you up?
- Yeah. - Oh. Just...
Just check that one out again.
- Mm, no. - No? No? Well, worth a shot. All right, thanks.
- Guess what I just did with those hookers we busted. - No way.
All the way, man! Yes, yes. Watch this. Doofy!
- Yeah? - Come on. Come on.
Okay.
Special Officer Doofy reporting.
Hey, Doofy, smell my fingers.
- What's that? - That's when you know you've become a man, Doofy!
Hey, Terry, smell my finger.
- What the hell is that? - My ass.
- Get the hell out of here, Doofy. - Doofy.
- Mom said get home now. - Tell Mom I'm on official police business.
- Cindy, are you okay? - Hey, hey, hey. No talking to the witness.
- Go get in the car, Doofy. She's coming with us. - Does Mom know?
- Yeah, Doofus. - Mom says when I wear this badge,
you're supposed to treat me like a man of the law.
Mom also said for you to stop sticking your dick in the vacuum cleaner.
- Oh! - Oh!
Okay, three, two...
- Oh, no. Gosh darn. - What now?
- It's just that there's all these numbers with deci... - What, can't you count?
- No, I can count, but there's really... - Let me make it easy for you.
This little piggy went to the market. This little piggy stayed home.
Now, if this little piggy doesn't roll the goddamn camera...
- I'm gonna put my foot up his fuckin' ass... - We're live, Gail.
Gail Hailstorm standing out front of the police station...
where I'm going to try and get a glimpse of Cindy Campbell,
the young girl who was attacked earlier this evening.
- You're on my foot, fat shit! - Sorry, G...
- What did I say? - "Don't ever step on Gail's shoes."
- Why not? - Because Gail wears Prada shoes.
- You idiot. - I'm a bad man.
Cindy! Cindy!
- Cindy, can we get a statement? - Buffy Gilmore, Miss Teen.
- She's not talking. - Is it true the police have someone in custody?
- Come on, Cindy. - Cindy, your ass looks fat!
Bitch!
- Good shot. - Come on.
- All right, who copped a feel? - Gail, it was me.
- Oh, my God. - It was an accident, Gail.
I only touched it, the top of the breast.
- It was so tender and juicy. - Shut up!
- Yo. - Hello, Shorty. What are you doing?
Nothin'. Sittin' here watchin' the game. Smokin' some bud.
Are you all alone?
- Wassup? - Wassup?
What the... Who's that?
Yo, pick up the phone.
- Wassup? - Wassup?
Yo, Dookie, pick up the phone!
- Yo. - Wassup?
- What you doin', son? - Nothin'. Just chillin', killin'.
True. True.
So you think Bobby did it?
I don't know. But he was there, Buffy.
I knew there had to be something. He's just too perfect.
Handsome, smart, good in bed.
- What did you say? - Uh...
Hey, Cind. Got your ice pack for your hand.
- Ow! - Sorry.
I'll get you one for your head.
No, no, that's okay, Doofy.
Hey, we're gonna get that guy you dumped in the water. Yeah.
I'll be next door if you need me.
Night, Cind.
Buffy, you told him?
The moron overheard a conversation Greg and I were having.
- Yeah, but what if he says something? - Who's gonna believe...
a retarded retard like him anyway?
Cindy, telephone.
Thank you.
- Hello. - Hello, Cindy.
- Guess what. - No!
- You got the wrong guy. - No!
- Doofy! - It's not Bobby.
Who is this?
- Doofy! Doofy! - Oh, my God.
Hello?
I said don't disturb me while I'm cleaning my room!
I heard Bobby got out this morning.
I haven't seen him around. Is he pissed?
You mean since you branded him the Candy man? No. His heart is broken.
Yo, son. It's like I seen this all before.
They had a killer at your old high school, Shorty?
No, it was in this movie Scream.
Same dialogue and everything. This is ill.
- How did it end? - I don't know.
Some niggas started shooting up in the movie theater, so we just broke out.
- No doubt. - Okay, I say we all just stick together.
Tonight everyone meet at my house.
And bring some friends. But don't tell everyone. Try to keep it quiet.
Okay.
Yo! Party at Cindy's house! Drunk white women for everybody!
Ray, if you see Bobby, tell him I love him.
Okay. If I see Bobby, I'll tell him I love him.
- Jesus! - It's okay. It's all right. It's just me, baby.
- What, you don't still think it's me, do you? - No.
It's just that somebody did try to kill me.
- And the police said I scared him away. - I know. He called me last night.
You see, it couldn't have been me. I was in jail last night. Remember?
You're the best.
I'm sorry. Please understand.
Understand what? That my girlfriend would rather call me a killer than touch me?
- That's not true, Bobby. - Then what is it?
What is it? She's gone and she's not coming back.
- It's been over a year, Cindy. - But Ginger was such an important part of the Spice Girls.
- Oh, you gotta move on, baby. - Oh!
I'm sorry if my complicated life...
is an inconvenience to your perfect existence.
Cindy. Cind.